These are memories of the guys I still remember, who in a way or another played an important role in some stage of my life... I don't expect you to understand, but please, bear with me ...
It all started when I was young ...
My first crush was for a guy in my primary school ( or elementary school, as how it was known to me ). He was not a very cute kid, but he was the most fascinating I ever met so far. I think my crush developed in a very subtle way: at first I was not particularly impressed by him, I even thought I liked better another kid in my same class who was CUTE . Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you want to view it, the other kid did not notice me, so he had every opportunity to make me appreciate him better for other qualities than his facie value. So , slowly, without realizing, I developed a crush for him. However, since I was inexperienced, I was not able to show my feeling properly and I never had the guts to ask him what he thought of me ... the fact that <=font size =4>EVERYONE
knew of my crush was not a balsam for my ego, either. Even my brothers knew about it, and they didn't waste any occasion to remind me that they were laughing in Front of my face about it.To end a story that should not take so long to tell, he went to a different high school, and I have not seen him since... and distance makes the heart grow less fond..
When I went to highschool, I met this guy who seemed just perfect: he was CUTE, great personality, very intelligent and he even had the money... in short he had everything...everything a guy need, even a girlfriend!!!!! So, what was I to do? I just played the good friend to him, someone he could talk to when he needed to... and in the end we became good friends...
Hopefully third time lucky... for everyone but me...
This time I went for someone older than me: he, technically speaking, could have been my father... We had a good relationship: we always communicated. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, in the end...
So what am I left with, in the end ?
At the moment I am single, and much happy to be so... I had much time to think about my love life, and I came up with a theory:
It's not that I am cursed by unrequited love syndrome and I can't find anyone to love or love me, the fact is just that my timing is mismatched. Whenever I am attracted to someone, this someone is either:
I know I am not so bad: if I am not really gorgeous, at least there is something in my personality that makes people consider me twice before discarding me. As a proof:
So here I am, still waiting for prince charming to come and show me what all the hype about love is all about...
Maybe I should place an ad on newspapers:" AAA wanted a prince charming, must be clean and neat, no bad habits,etc... "
Something I just remembered. Some time ago - I know I am keeping it vague, but I have to protect his identity - a good friend of mine started to show signs of more than just friendship. It was very evident, because even I, who my brothers nickname 'the blind',realised that something was going on, that his changes around me were not accountable for any sudden illness. Anyway, I was very puzzled by it all, and in accordance I went asking advice from my brothers, who being guys, would have know what was the proper thing to do, I thought. WEll, never trust your brothers: he told me that if only I would tell him who the guy was, he would more than happily go there and break the guy's face, because 'no one could do this kind of things to his little sister'. I admit, it was flattering knowing that my big bro cared enough for me as to start a fight for me, but it was even more embarassing, as the guy had done nothignn wrong, as yet. The thing that really amaze me, is that THEY even had girls coming up to them asking them to be their boyfriends, but when someone showed interest in ME , then the rules change completely!!! In the end, I had to act on my own accord: I wanted the guy as a friend, not as a lovey dovey silly boyfriend, therefore I cowardly avoided him since then. I think that after all this time, he got the message.