So, I get a little angsty. Who doesn't.  I don't hit the dog, the wife or the disabled. I just vilify 'em on the net. Gotta love that.

What?
You read the blurb above. This is my "therapy" if you like. How I learn to love the world around me.
Or some shit like that.
Time to let rip.

Women
Everyone who reads about the women (someone in a bar met me and said they'd read it before meeting me... how fucked up is that?) reckon it's kinda weird.
Fuck yas all.
I love it... for the record.
Oh and if any of you are thinking about suing me (how pathetic..) Remember- truth is still a valid defence in this country...

So here we go again (*ding ding* round 3..)

Women I don't know, but love anyway..:
Kathy Lette- big mouth, wise ass, irrepressible. Go girl GO!
Salma Hayek - Small, arrogant, sexy as ... I don't know what. Bring 'er ON!
Kylie Minogue- What can you say about "our Kyles"? What a stayer! Got lotsa style too these days. Who would have thought?!
Naomi Wolf -No not a token feminist- just a fellow believer. We can get along!
Rebecca Brown- Was once the world record holder for breaststroke (I took the record back ha ha) Got lost or something- but on her way back and really kickin' ass.
Jessica Crisp- Australia's best ever all round windsurfer, One Design racer, world Cup wave champion (twice I believe). Sails better than me, is cute, single and, and, and . . .never mind
Jules Asner- is a recent discovery. What a BABE. She hosts E! USA, does a lot of bikini gear work, interviews people well and.. that's all you need to know! Here, do a search!
 

Women I dig as we speak:
Sexy Beast- done a runner, but you get that. At least I do. A LOT.
Jenjen- for just being Jen. Oh and for the really annoying whiny voice and the . . . . Jen pissing me off factor. "My bag, my phone, my wallet, my pocket knife.."
Ingrid- charming, sophisticated, gorgeous - has a dog. What more could you ask
for! Also is passionate, in love, caring, and a million other things that words cannot express...
The X- files

Once again, all new and improved, thomasr takes YOU on a tour through the graveyard that is his relationship history. Watch out some of them are still twitching. Best finish 'em off eh? Indeedy folks it's HATE all the way.
Take it away thomas!

*In an attempt (note only attempt) to be a little nice, I will say ONE nice thing about each one. I'll do 'em in italics- coz they may not seem all that complimentary.
You CAN'T get more generous than that I say...

Obi-Wan. What a fuckin' bumpkin. Didn't handle the news I'd slept with all her friends and house mates too well either. TOUGH!
Didn't speak much. Thank Christ

Han Solo Obi-Wan's best mate. Great mate hey? Evil little wench too. Dare say she's got three kids and works in a brothel to support them.
Was fully evil. I liked that about her.

Three Year Bitch- Exactly that kiddies, exactly that. Still, I learned all about copping grief, being a slob, being unpunctual and ripping off family members from her. Owes my late father $500. Like we'll see that _ever_.
I didn't got to jail- coz I never got around to killing her.

Pepper Spray I say pepper spray but she was more of a pepper pot- one of those new ones with no shape whatsoever. Knew nothing, did nothing and that was that.
Also didn't speak much...

Green had no idea, so I taught her. She then followed me around like a puppy. At least with a puppy if you kick it it goes away. This one didn't. Even now she hounds me. I tell you what remember this- puppies one day, dogs the next.
Was once passably cute.

Paper Bitch "I am a modern woman" she used to say. Oh pleeease! If modern means "walk all over me, leave me twice and I'll still take you back for you to dump me  a third time" then bring on those modern women...
Tall, lean and stacked.

Nasty Oh dear this was nasty. Green's friend. But I felt like it at the time, so that was enough. Fuck 'em.
Used me too

Kaz Now this was an interesting case. The girl herself was as boring as batshit, but what I was thinking when I ploughed into this Lolita is quite beyond me. Mad I tell you mad.
Didn't get pregnant

Pay Out Never before and not since has a night of "passion" (I use the term very fuckin' loosely) copped me sooo much shit from my mates. Desperation is an evil thing. Note to all: go home, toss off and wake up happy. Not wake in fright like I did.
Gave in. That's about all.

Barney Tried to boss me like no other. Had me down for a two count, but I got out, dumped her ass and felt fucking great! Hooray!
Was a genuine, nice girl. Was.

Bexta Unfortunately NOT the techno Princess Bexta, but rather another one. Had a hack there for a while, jumped me like a cheap whore. I liked that, but didn't respect it much. Had to go. Dumped her after I'd forgotten her birthday. Just couldn't stand the idea of having to grovel. So I didn't.
Really cute, good job, money.

Mary Not really Mary, but thought she was Mary mother of God. It is interesting to watch someone in the throes of the religion vs. passion battle. For about the first ten minutes. Then it gets weird- the guilt really started to tear the ass out of her. I was off.
Attractive, young and impressionable

Daddy's Little Girl I always like to save my best for this cheap, nasty, egotistical trollop. I know she reads it too- every time, you just can't help yourself. Even now you're wondering if this is about you. Oh yes baby it is, it's all about you. I wonder if you actually trade off the mean things I say against the ego boost of being mentioned on the internet.. do you? Well read on then my sweet little $2 whore. You are an peasantile, cheap, stupid, living- in - a - bubble, no good, product of the shallow end of the gene pool. I think about you and just laugh nowadays. Just to see how mind numbingly boring you have become is proof that the most exciting thing that happened to you ever was me. And that is sad. The battle you have is that you like the bad boys, but Mumsie and Dadsie don't. You know what you are going to do even before you do it. You will find yourself an equally boring little bald man to worship you and that will be that. All over by 30. Off you go!

Sucker Technically, all of the bodies have been suckers. But this one thought she was playing with me, when it was me making all the plays. Damn I am good. Really. She thought I was some kind of adorable, loyal puppy. Looked down on me and all. Then came the sex, and there went Tom.
Still wants a piece. Silly silly girl

Balco One of the many I really regret. What was I thinking? I would rather hang out with DLG's family than do this one again. (and BTW the option is a SHOCKER) I knew this was going to be a BIG fucking mistake, but I just wanted the... knowing.
If you don't understand that sentence then you'll never know my dark side.
What a truly evil, awesome body.

Naive That doesn't even go close. Soooo naive it is almost beyond description. I was just there for something to do and she goes and talks about marriage for Chrissakes. No, really! Like firing my ass out of a cannon. She didn't see me for dust. Girls, a word of advice- don't mention marriage to a guy who never calls you when you've only been going out 6 weeks. It's not good for anyone.
Big hooters.

Babs As in Barbra Streisand in the movie "Nuts", also as in Gay mans best friend. God had clearly decided that I had been a bad boy. So he sent Babs to sort me out. To be there at every turn reminding me what a bastard I am, to stalk me with all the skill of Mark Chapman on speed.
I dunno, i guess she didn't kill me- that's gotta be good.... for me.

Hugnkiss I drove a long way for this- just for the ubiquitous knowing thing. Less said the better.
Didn't care when I never called again

Darth Vader More of a choking, Michael Hutchence thing than anything else. Sick, crazy, nymphomaniac. Yes folks the real thing. Really scared me, liked to black out and all. I got out at Tricky's advice-"What if she goes to the police with bruises and says you tried to kill her?" HOLY SHIT thinks I. Outta here.
Important to have one like her once in your life.... NOT~

Summer My own little summer of love was a triumph. I did a bit (lot) of Beach Juggling. Essentially showing off to the boys, and it was appreciated by all concerned. This was fun. A handpass from Jenjen, a nod a wink and a lot of bonkin'. Left, came back more of the same.
Sexual appetite of a sailor in port.

Igloo A very handy handpass from Kahoona, this was the first sign that the dirty 30's are gonna be great. Eyes rolled back in yer head, whoa baby! sorta stuff. Was really hoping for RPS, but she bailed me.
I got used- one back for the sisterhood!!

Pouter Whiny, demanding, lollipop. I swear, but for her great body, there would be a price on her head. Kahoona and I were laughing about how fuckin' useless she really was. I mean it. Dumb is not a crime- but like DLG when you combine dumb and ego you get a really laughable bitch.
Like I said, the bod was great.

Foamy It is kinda weird when you really try your best (including doing nothing..), to nail your prey, and then just leave it there. But, kiddies, that's exactly what ol thomasr did. It's the knowing thing raising it's ugly head again...
Was devoted, and I still respect her.

Chief I used to get a real ego boost when I thought about this one... now? Well like Chef in "Apocalypse Now" said' "I don't care where I die, as long as it ain't here.."
A convert no less!
There have been worse situations I guess...

Globos Hoooooly shit was this a stack! really impressive. Young, but very cool. Almost worked it out there at one stage. But I slammed the door on that quick smart, you can't let that happen EVER....
Is a decent lovely person. Did I just say that?

D30 This was, as Kahoona would say "a bit of fun". Really interesting when a woman works you out (to a degree) but still falls for the lines anyway. Who gets used in the end? She asked me to call her, wrote it on a piece of paper,  and then I put it in her own letterbox on my way out. How's that for arrogance?
Was slim, passable too.

NX 7.1 This was another one of those "Nothing else is happening so I might as well..." but I know I don't really wnt to- I'm just fuckin dumb. So I plyed around, taught here a trick or two and then faked my way out. Didn't hurt her too much so there you go
Big stack, tough as old boots.

Doug I thought I was on holidays- fooling around, teaching what and when I could, and BAM the months went by. It's a long time to spend with an apprentice. Oh well at least I don't hate her. Folks will call me a bastard at the drop of a hat, but hey, I am just doing the right thing ... sometimes..
Sexy momma, cute enough

Dirty Son Of  A Gun This was like an ongoing bet- "I bet I could... I bet she is.. I bet if... " and I was right, right, right. Was quite hung up on me. I like that. Was sexy when she shouldn't be , and went like fury when the indications were she couldn't. How 'bout that eh? I let it die, before the world found out. Perhaps one day I will tell.
Goer, real goer maaaate!

Target Wasn't drunk, wasn't desperate, wasn't thinking. I mean we're talikng TWO brown paper bag job here- for her and one for me- in case hers falls off... Seriously.
Doesn't stalk me like half the other mad bitches I've boned.

Hippy I was gonna go party here for a while, but y'know that unnerving feeling that someone is not quite the full box n' dice? I'd say the Hippy was a few bongs short of a giggle. I was cruel, in fact very cruel. But Jenjen gave her the thumbs down and that was that.
What, am I fucking nuts- listening to Jen?

Supreme Aum This is a little weird. I feel like a cult leader with no purpose. It is weird when you get bulk amounts of praise from someone when the reality is you suck. Big time. So it's was off to the big house for this one. I tell you what else- a bit like the Hippy- you just get the feeling that there is something wrong . . . If you get that feeling, bail out FAST- it's like an aeroplane- if the fuckers going down and you have a parachute- JUMP
Whooompa bed wise baby!