Narcissistic Dreams


The eye of the beholder

Photographique

Addictions and interests

Contact Me
Narcissus: Beautiful Greek youth who spurned the love of Echo leading to her demise. After this, Artemis punished Narcissus by making him fall in love with his own reflection, dying of a broken heart he turned into a beautiful flower that bears his name.
   The eye of the beholder   

During your travels of this disorientating and desolate land you come across a fluorescent tree. Emitting an ambient purple glow in the dark misty landscape you decide to investigate this wonder. Looking at the tree closer you notice a small flash of gold from its trunk (you also realise that your narrator's skills with charcoal are still amusingly primitive).

Upon reaching the tree you find what resembles a golden ticket pinned to the tree. Removing the ticket for closer inspection, you find the following script embossed on the front:

"You have been cordially invited to the abode of one, Thoth, creator and ruler of this land."

Turning the ticket over you find the scrawlings of what could only be a primitive map. Anxiously wanting to meet this infamous character you set off on your journey.

After travelling a delirium of paths you reach a huge amethyst staircase. The stairs leads up into the sky, far above and disappearing into the mist. Having come this far you begin your ascent.

Hour upon hour passes until you begin to make out what sounds like the wailing of a thousand voices. This cry seems to get louder, becoming a head splitting orchestra, until as you near the top you see the source of this brain numbing symphony. It appears to be a banshee who's astonishing beauty defies description. (It is no coincidence that your narrator has the misfortune of suffering migraines similar to this)


Seduced by the power of the banshee, you kneel at her feet as her wailing subsides. Her angelic and inviting voice draws your attention to her wisdom:

"To protect you from the soul crushing power of Thoth, I am the vehicle through which He may speak."

A trance-like stare pierces you from the eyes of the banshee as Thoth begins to speak through her.

"You may be wondering who I am. In this world I am but a mere collection of energy too vast for a mere human to comprehend. Hence I will explain existence on the Earthly plane, an existence closer to your train of thought.

On the Earthly plane my name is Michael. Although my Craft name, to whom I am known by fellow inhabitants of the Internet is Thoth (pronounced Toe' th). I have used this name ever since I discovered the realms of role playing and gothic existence and began using it as an alias during the BBS days of my adolescence (preinternet times when WWW, IRC and ICQ did not exist).

I was born in the year 1976 CE (I'll leave you to calculate how many years young I am). A birth by breech, perhaps starting me on my path of nonconformism. At the time of my birth my rising ascendant was Capricorn and the Sun appeared in Leo. Capricorn rising does describe my personality very accurately much to my disgust.

I currently reside alone in my flat in Fitzroy, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Earth. I am about six feet tall with a slim build, long black hair, bluey-green eyes (known to change colour with personality according to friends), pale complexion and am usually found wearing glasses (see Photographique). I am currently single with no wish to tie myself down to someone, however if they want to tie me down, that's fine.

I have been described by most as being gothic. Being the cynic that I am I dislike being called goth most of the time. Indeed many goths look pale, listen to strange music, have depressive personalities and like to dress in anyway that suits them, but not all Goths do. It is a sad fact of society that morons need to classify people as Goth, skeg, punk, corporate, nerd, raver, etc., just so their feeble minds can cope. On the other hand subclassifcation is handy if taken lightly. Two punks can meet and be reasonably sure that they like the same music and clothing, but that's where the similarity ends.

Currently I am studying fifth year medicine at Monash University as well as working as a PCA (Personal Care Assistant) to the elderly in a nursing home (see Apothecary section). This tends to occupy the majority of my time, however I make time for hobbies (see Addictions & interests) to prevent insanity from creeping in, or getting worse than it already is.

Spirituality has played a significant part in my existence up to this point. Like most people (also known as depressives) searching for some justification to their life, I have delved into the cult (Christianity), the occult and areas of metaphysics and philosophy. After quite a few years of angst and torment I have ended up on the pagan path of Wicca (Witchcraft). I self-initiate eclectic, I draw from many sources including Egyptian, Alexandrian, LaVey and even the Bible. Religion to me is a construction of my surroundings and influences. Wiccans do not worship the devil (whom only exists to the Catholic church anyway). Like most religions, wicca is far more complicated than it seems at first glance so explaining that wiccans follow the Wiccan Rede of "An' ye harm none, do what ye will," is a huge simplification. More details of this can be found in the Fetish section .

Photographique

It is becoming a trend for people to ask for a photo of me during an IRC/ICQ chat. Well here I offer you a chance to be disappointed in advance.

(Notice the authoritarian crossed arms trying to give that Peter Norton of Norton Utilities look).

And for those that don't believe I venture outdoors, the below photograph clearly demonstrates that I do.

Addictions and interests

Being a med student means that most of my interests involve the sciences and medicine. However I also love many other non-medical things. I must to maintain a healthy balance. I am pasionate about music, literature, film and art. My tastes in music are far too diverse to be listed here so I direct you to the Sound of Tears section. I also enjoy the visual arts and have included some of my favourites in the Anatomy of Sorrow section.

I play the guitar, piano and am learning the violin. Hence I love playing and writing music. With time I may put some of my songs onto this site. I also love velvet and PVC clothing. The colour purple and black (well its not really a colour). Intelligent and sexy goth girls. BDSM. Crawling under a warm rug with a good book, CD or film. The Fetish section contains info on some of my favourite books and films as well as detail on some of my other interests. Sleeping is probably another of my favourite passtimes (when I can that is, insomnia is such a curse).

If you want to know more about me you may find it easier to just contact me.

Contact me

My E-Mail address is michael@scientist.com

ICQ# 60779772

I can also be found as Thoth or Vampacept roaming IRC at the following channels:

#goth (oz.org)

#gothic (oz.org)

#melbourne (oz.org)

Finally I may be found playing gateway (gatewaymud.org).


May 2000: M. Lograsso (michael@scientist.com)