There once was a man who played lute
Who said "I admit it looks cute,
"But it's too soft to hear,
"And to tune takes a year,
"I wish that I'd learned to play flute."*
The contents of Campion's airs,
Are surprisingly versatile fair,
If the song's not about,
How god makes you devout,
It concerns some young girl's derriere.*
There once was a Dowland named John,
Of Queen Besses Court he was Fond,
When he asked "Wilt thou hire me?",
She replied "I'd desire thee,
"If you'd written but one happy song."*
There once was a Dowland named Bob,
Who wrote a lute book, his first job,
Though the book's titled "Lessons",
The high standard's depressin',
And causes beginners to sob.*
The once was a man named Besard,
A noteworthy, lute playing bard,
But there's one Fantasia,
That's a pain to the ear,
So now we just call him B'Stard.*
If a man spends twenty years playing the lute, he will spend five of those years tuning it.
Limerick 2: Other than the fact that Campion never mentioned the word "derierre" and wrote several types of love songs this limerick is essentially true. "Why won't you sleep with me?", "Corr, she looks pretty good" and "Men are simpletons" were the main topics explored in Campion's love songs.
Limerick 3: "Semper Dowland, Semper Dolens" which transliterates as "Always Dowland, Always Sad" was a pretty good contemporary description of his work. John Dowland never did get his post in Queen Elizabeth's court, but he was hired by her successor, King James.