101 Funny Jokes
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.
PLATO:
For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using
the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use
its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to
align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of
its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and
best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in
the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of
meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both
tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other
in order to achieve the implicit goals in delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing and enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting
was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically based, industry-focused,
and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message
and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.
This was conducive towards the creation of a total business
integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change
to become more successful.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK;
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES;
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN;
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed "
the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JNR.;
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
MOSES;
And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chickens,
"Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER;
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON;
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT
cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI;
The point is that the chicken crosses the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD;
Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all
over the place, anyway?
FREUD;
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES;
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file you important documents,
and balance your cheque book.
OLIVER STONE;
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather,
it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN;
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross the
roads.
EINSTEIN;
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the
chicken depends on your frame of reference.
BUDDHA;
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON;
The chicken did not cross the road....it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY;
To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS;
I missed one?
Join eads and get 10c per click: click on the button below:
