101 Funny Jokes
Wife Version 1.0
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
the
product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches
during system initialisation, where it monitors all other system
activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
Saturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run
some of my other favourite applications. I am thinking about going
back
to
Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks,
Keef
*************************************************************************
Dear Keef:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to
a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT"
program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your
system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wi
fe 1.0 so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files
from
the
system once installed.
You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed
to
do
this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up
with
more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support."
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults
(GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems
that
might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will
be
to
enter the command C:\ APOLOGISE.
In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately
you
will
have to give the APOLOGISE command before the operating system will
return
to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame
for
all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider
buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I
recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances,
install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This
is not a supported application for Wife1.0 and is likely to cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.
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